Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
