she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
