Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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