Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
