the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
it glows. i had to have it.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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