If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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