he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
