They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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