HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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