the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
