She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
