I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
