It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
