the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Less talking, more tequila
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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