p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
