Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
