Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
