There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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