I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I can't turn off my feet"
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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