as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
In America we eat man semen.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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