the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
