Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
