I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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