I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
