she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
