somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
