I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
