Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
