I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
