My Higher Power is John Stamos
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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