The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
