careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
