I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
