his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
