I think I am morally bankrupt
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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