i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
