when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
