It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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