is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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