sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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