Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
