Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
