No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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