He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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