hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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