My first STD was from a foam party
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
its not stalking. its research.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
