hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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