Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
