Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Do vagina's smell?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
