Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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