U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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