I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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