Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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