There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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