i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
you mean i was at the winter classic?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
